When I grow up | “I’ve always wondered: how do I get to the top of the ladder?”
Mark Spiering (60) once wanted to become Prime Minister, but ended up working in a cigar shop after leaving school. Now he is a scientist specialising in sexology. “Those people must know how to be happy, I thought.”
What was your childhood dream?
“As a child, I wanted to become Prime Minister. I thought at the time that was the highest achievable. You want to get as far as possible in life, don’t you?”
“Now, I have a more realistic view of myself. I used to be the brightest in class, but once I started working, I became a bit more modest. I’m not the sort of person with a very strong focus and dedication – and you do need that to become Prime Minister. There are loads of things I enjoy doing. I also wanted to settle down, have children and be actively involved in their lives.”
In When I grow up, Folia talks to UvA academics from all walks of life about their careers, memorable moments in their professional lives, and what they wanted to be when they grew up. Did their childhood dreams come true, or is it perhaps better that they ended up doing something else?
What were the early days of your career like?
“After secondary school, I started working in a cigar shop in Amsterdam-Oost for a few years. It was a real neighbourhood shop, with lots of regular customers. It was actually a really lovely time. But at some point I felt: I can’t do this for the rest of my life. I’d got my qualifications to start a shop like that myself, but I was still quite young, so I thought it was too early for that.”
“Then I thought: I need to make sure I earn a lot of money. So I went into accountancy. I kept climbing the career ladder and earning more and more. It was quite interesting work, too. But I didn’t want to spend my whole life sitting in an office either. So I decided to do something I really enjoyed, completely regardless of the money.”
“My grandad had given all his grandchildren ten thousand euros, so I thought: well, I’ll go and study then. I was about twenty-three at the time. Psychology seemed the most interesting to me. Those people know how to be happy, I thought. Psychologists know how to unravel the secret of life.”
And, is that true?
“I think psychologists do know a lot. There are certain things that make me happy; I’ve learnt that from psychology. A few very simple things, like living a healthy life and doing things I enjoy. And the most important thing of all is love, of course. That’s perhaps even more important than sex.”
You’re now a sexologist. How did you end up in that field?
“It happened by chance. Whilst studying psychology, I was selected to join a small research group specialising in sexology, and that was a really enjoyable experience. But that was mainly because of the friendly atmosphere. Back then, men used to study men and women used to study women, so I ended up in a group of men.”
“That division no longer exists. Nowadays, it’s actually easier to study women here in the psychology department at the UvA, because there are far more women around. It’s much easier to find research participants.”
“When I finished my degree, the job market was very poor for psychologists. I was passionate about the subject, but I was also still partying a lot. After my degree, I found myself back at an accountancy firm very quickly. I was lucky that a PhD position became available in exactly the field I’d graduated in. When I returned to the university, I did think: it’s brilliant here. Lots of freedom and lots of young people.”
Mark Spiering (1966) was born and raised in Amsterdam. After working for a few years in a cigar shop and in the accountancy sector, he began studying psychology at the UvA in 1989. In 2004, he was awarded a PhD in sexology. He has been happily married for 32 years and lives with his wife. He also has three daughters.
Why are you so fascinated by sexology?
“Sexology is a fascinating academic subject. You come across lots of interesting stories. For example, the things that turn people on – sometimes it’s almost impossible to imagine. There are men who steal women’s underwear and use it to masturbate. Or people who take enormous risks for sexual pleasure.”
What do you still want to achieve?
“I’ve always had this feeling in my life: how do I get to the top of the ladder? But I’ve also realised that the people who make it there have had to give up a lot of things. During my research, I’d sometimes be sitting in my office writing articles whilst my family were on the beach. That’s when I’d think: what am I doing here? I didn't want to carry on like that.”
“I now feel that I’m entering the final phase of my career. In the coming years, I’d just like to teach in a way that’s enjoyable. A bit of a friendly, relaxed approach to teaching. At the moment, I mainly teach large courses, which is a lot more impersonal. What matters to me is the connection with the students. I don’t really mind which subject it is.”
